Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Canajan, eh?

Some Canadian humour. I just had to post these you're-probably-Canadian-isms because so many are so true! ROTFLOL! My comments are in brackets.

Forget Rednecks...
Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canadians:

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Canada. (they used to - now during that time, they just close at 8 pm instead of much, much later as in summer)

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Canada. (done this myself! Often.)

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada. (Just shorts and a parka? How 'bout sandals, too!)

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialled a wrong number, you may live in Canada. (LOL.)

If 'vacation' means going anywhere south of Detroit for the weekend, you may live in Canada. (doesn't apply. American-wise, I've never been south of Lake Placid and Syracuse. Is Old Forges more south than that???)

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada. (I am so guilty of this one. Ask me hour far Toronto is and I'll automatically say 4 hours.)

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada. (know many!)

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you may live in Canada. (done this often!)

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada. (who hasn't done this??? I thought it was normal.)

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada. (Where I grew up, the locks on the doors didn't even work!)

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada. (Excuse me? Of course, I know how to use them!)

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada. (well, natch!)

If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km -- you're going 95 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada. (LOL - isn't that what the 401 is all about?)

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada. (Fact of life!)

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you may live in Canada. (LOL)

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada. (Well, since I don't own a snowblower and we shovel by hand, this one doesn't apply. Each winter, I swear we're going to get one but somehow winter rolls around and I'm still shovelling by hand, trying to convince myself that it is a terrific workout.)

If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly', you may live in Canada. (-2 is for those days of wearing shorts, a 'parka' and sandals if the snow's not flying. If it is, then just the 'parka' and shorts. Though, I don't know any self-respecting Canadian who refers to them as "parkas". ) (Btw, -2 is almost tropical.)

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your friends,you definitely are Canadian and proud to be. (Does posting it to your blog count?)