Tuesday, July 29, 2008

A Cat Called Moose

We have a cat. He's not a nice cat. He's a nasty-tempered, cranky, mangey old cat who has this notion in his head that he's the master of this house. Master with a capital "M" it seems. In 'his' head that is. Not in mine. Moosey and I have a love / hate relationship. He loves to torment me and I hate him for it. We've had issues in past lives, as Teresa says.

There are certain things in this house that I will just not let him get away with. Most of the time, I'm easy to get along with. Really! But I just cannot stand a cat sitting on my kitchen table or counters. Nope. He gets swiped off with my arm no matter how many times he does it. If I have to stand there and sweep him off ten times in a row, I will. Because Moosey is not going to win the battle of wills. And because Moosey is not the Master. Oops, I meant to say master - with no capital letter. See what I mean? He's starting to brainwash me.

Another thing I cannot tolerate is his propensity to chew wires. Any wires. New headphone wires. Computer wires. Microphone wires. Aquarium wires. You name it - if Moose gets annoyed with you, he'll immediately strut to something used by the annoyer and 'crunch'. Or 'chew'. Or 'chomp'.

If there is one thing I hate, it's having him plunk his rear end down about four inches from my face, on my pillow, at 3 am if his food bowl is empty. Oh, am I in major trouble if his food bowl is empty during the night!!!

Anyways, I could go on about Moosey's nasty streak but I'm sure you get the idea. Or perhaps, like my Mom, you're thinking "Deb, cats don't think like that! And Moose is such a sweet cat. How can you possibly think things like this of the darling?" To which I always reply, "experience". Experience of buying phone cords like they're going out of style. Experience of replacing wires and items whose wires cannot be replaced. Experience of cleaning cat vomit from the sheets of my bed. (That's when he's really pissed off at me!) And the list goes on. And on. And on.

Lately though, Moose has been worming his way into my good books. Or maybe it's the other way 'round. I don't know, but I'm almost enjoying our new-found camaraderie. Which is a very scary thought indeed. He's always within a few feet of me whenever I'm in the house.

And aren't I the lucky one - he likes to sleep curled up beside me! He used to bite my toe if my foot got too close to him but lately, he just purrs and rubs against it. Hmmmmmmm. What's up?

When he has me trained to constantly be on guard, this friendliness, while semi-enjoyable, is kind of freaky really.

Here's a few shots of him - in lieu of a painting. (Since I had a rather large 2nd Annual Pool Party & BBQ this past weekend which required an enormous amount of preparation and work. And housecleaning. All of which totally wiped out any painting time this past weekend but was worth that sacrifice because it went beautifully!)

The first is Moose sleeping in his bed. I mean, MY bed. Note the paws! (But trust me - don't get taken in by the cute look of him!)

Before you get the wrong idea and start writing to me to tell me that I've got a poor judge of character, here's a shot of his "you'd better listen to what I'm saying, woman" look. I often get this look.

When his head is beside my foot and I see what is in this next shot, I quickly move my foot. Or he draws blood. From my toe.

Most of the time though, especially if I'm painting, this is what I see when I turn my head:

If you happen to read any comments from my Painting Pals about 'poor maligned Moose', don't believe them, k? He has them wrapped around his little finger. Or paw.


RHCarpenter said...

LOL! Oh, the stories and we know they are true because Moose really was king of the castle in the previous house - maybe he is aging and getting more gentle or....is he just setting you up for a real scare/terror? You know, Deb, you have to keep an eye on that cat! haha

Ann Buckner said...

Poor maligned Moose! ROFL! Does he ever have you trained. He knows just what to do, doesn't he, to get your undivided attention.

RHCarpenter said...

Deb, I am awarding you the Brillante Weblog award. Check out the info on my blog. You can pass it on or not - your choice.

Have a great day!

Deborah A. Léger said...

{sigh} See what I mean? Moose has everyone brainwashed. (insert rolling eyes here)

Rhonda, I think he's setting me up. Gentle is not a word I'd use with Moose. Especially not in the same sentence. lol

Ann, yes, he knows. Which bugs me no end. I prefer to think of it as being attentive to his needs so he doesn't 'make me pay' rather than think of myself being trained by him. (Gasp) What a horrible thought! LOL.

Thanks for commenting both of you!

Deborah A. Léger said...

Rhonda, thanks so much for the award! I'm going to get it up as soon as possible!